To the Friend Who Didn’t Want Me to Succeed

Friendship is tough sometimes. Relationships, no matter what form, have their challenges. At twenty-eight years old, I have gained and lost so many friends. As someone who is loyal to a fault, and sometimes a little too eager to give of myself, it’s hard to understand why some friendships fall apart.

Sometimes it’s as simple as a change in location that makes it hard to get together. Sometimes it’s life altering events like having kids or getting married or changing careers. Those are the things I can wrap my head around.

 What I can’t wrap my head around is when a friendship dissolves because they cease to view you as a friend, and they start to see you as competition. 

A friendship that I have held so close to my heart, all but vanished and it left me wondering what I did wrong. 

I have a few things to say to this friend…

1.) I miss you, and you are missing out. You weren’t there when I received some tragic news. You weren’t there when I could barely peel myself off the couch from a back injury. You weren’t there when I was celebrating some new and exciting ventures. You didn’t know when a family member went in for emergency surgery. You are missing out, and I am missing you. 

2.) Although I am highly motivated and sometimes hyper focused on my career, I would have thought that you could see through that to the heart of why I do what I do. I love to learn, I love to teach, I love to inspire others, and it has very little to do with winning or losing or competing with you. 

3.) You don’t know my definition of success. Success, to me, has nothing to do with competing and winning at barrel races. Winning is just a hopeful result of the work I do, but never my ultimate goal. My favorite days and most fulfilling moments are when something clicks with a student I’m giving a lesson to, or when my horse makes a breakthrough, or when I can help someone see the work of God in their life through horses. The world’s definition of success can be tempting, but money, buckles, and titles won’t mean anything at the pearly gates. 

4.) I still pray for you. I pray for your family, I pray for your business, I pray for you to experience all the good things of life. I pray that you would see what a beautiful person you are and all that you have to offer the world. Perhaps if you saw yourself through another’s eyes, you would see what a talented and unique person you are and maybe feel a little less insecure. 

5.) I’m still here. I will always have an open door. Our friendship may have changed, but I have not. I’ll always be just a call or text away. 

Sometimes life moves at such a rapid pace. Things change, people change, life moves on. Maybe life moves a little quickly for my old soul, or maybe it’s time to usher in a new era of friendships. The kind of friendships that stick close and cheer each other on, maybe offer a shoulder to cry on or a meal when times are tough.
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