When You Can’t Take It Anymore

Life for me lately has felt heavy. A little burdened down by a lot of things that really don’t matter.

Weighted with fear and guilt and worry about the future.

I recently moved to a new state with a trailer loaded down with my horses and belongings.

Trusting God through this process has not been an easy task.

Living in an unfamiliar place with unfamiliar people and unfamiliar lifestyles is hard.

I miss my up north Yankee friends that give you the truth straight up and and don’t bother with condescending phrases like “bless your heart.”

Yankees don’t have time for silly pleasantries like that. We were born into this world ten minutes late and we will no doubt hustle until the end of our life to catch up.

My point is that life can just feel heavy sometimes. And at times the weight of some things make me feel like I could break.

I can’t help but think about my mom and all of her gardens. By the end of the season, my mom’s flower gardens are full to the brim with flowers and plants of every variety, shape and size.

Her plants are heavy with flowers and new growth. Many of them look like they are barely holding up the weight of their branches. Blossoms the size of a dinner plate threaten to pull the whole plant down if it weren’t for the lattice my mom strategically put up for support.

She lovingly cares for them all throughout the year. Watering, fertilizing, shielding them from frost, weeding, and pruning.

Every fall she goes through her perennial gardens and prunes the plants back. I remember as a kid thinking “Oh my gosh she has scalped them all!”. I didn’t think there was any way they could grow back as full and as beautiful as they were before.

But each year they grew back better.

She had the confidence and vision to see what the plant needed, so she did just that.

While I could go on and on about my mom and her gift for growing things, I think there is a metaphor to be found.

Sometimes new growth is heavy. Sometimes you grow so fast and so big that your roots can’t hold you up without a little support. Sometimes you need to be pruned back so that you can grow fuller and stronger each year.

I read John 15 morning and was reminded that like a good gardener, God is pruning away the things in my life that don’t bare fruit. He has a vision for the end product that perhaps I can’t see. He knows what will make me grow back stronger and even more fruitful.

“I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful. You are already clean because of the word I have spoken to you. Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me. “I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, you will bear much fruit; apart from me you can do nothing.”

‭‭John‬ ‭15:1-5‬ ‭NIV‬‬

I am reminded to simply remain in Him and to trust that Jesus, the gardener in charge of my care, knows exactly what I need to grow and thrive and blossom in a way that honors Him.

If you would like to keep in touch with me, follow me on instagram! @emilygernaat 🙂

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